Dreamland

It's 11:48 am. How this is possible, I don't know. Well, besides the natural flow of time, my mind and body is telling me this is impossible. I feel like I slept for days. The number of dreams I had last night are enough for 3 people! Aren't you only supposed to remember like 1 dream out of the 7ish we have? I don't know where I heard that, this could be completely absurd. But I remember almost every dream last night, and I think I also woke up after each one to ponder it's strangeness. I drempt that I was in a haunted hospital and patients would spontaneously combust and there was nothing I could do about it. I woke up not particularly scared as I usually would, but more annoyed. Weren't there preventitive measures I could have implemented to keep my patients from this? I must not be a very good nurse. Or how about the dream where some random family took me under their wing. We went to the mall where I needed to take care of some banking issues (oddly enough this also happened for real around 7 am when my bank texted me some alerts...), then decided to go see a movie. I sat next to their oldest son who was a bit emotionally raw and threw a blanket over our heads and asked if we could make out. Apparently my answer of "No" put him over the edge and he stormed out of the theater, and it made me look like the bad guy! Ugh.

I'm not sure how I feel about facebook chat. Sometimes it's great...I can quickly chat with a friend, then go on my merry way. Most of the time I forget it's there and don't use it. But there are a few instances where I really want to turn it off and hide. Last night a guy from high school started up a conversation. When I saw his little box pop up, my first reaction was that this was a joke and him and his other friends that I knew from high school were thinking of who from High School could they say stupid things to. As I type this I am seeing the incredible insecurity and slightly egocentric thought process I went through, but that's how it was. It could be because while I was more outgoing in high school than I was in middle school, I was still shy and slightly awkward at times. Standing at 6', I was made fun of a lot. So this guy was a part of a group that occasionally made my life miserable. We were all in  band together, and I was one of the few females who was in the saxophone section along with this guy. Each year we competed for first chair in our section of the band. Each year, we switched.However I'm not sure either of us every made first chair. It was either 2nd or 3rd. Back and forth we went, him ahead of me, me ahead of him, and when our senior year came, we were so sure that one of us would make first chair. And hilariously, a little freshman made first chair. He was second I was third. By then I was less made fun of and more just teased, but we were never BFFs. So when he sent me this message the other day, these memories are all I had to reference him. So as we chatted I was cautious and not really into the conversation, and wishing more and more that I hadn't responded. Then he asked me for drinks, and that drove even further my belief that this was all a joke. So I lied. Ick. I hate lying. Also, it's wrong. I see that. Forgive me. But I did it. I said I was seeing someone. Even if it was just as friends, how awkward! I didn't want to go, so why would I pretend I did and say yes? I hate situations like this. Something similar happened a week ago, and I never responded to the request. It was just so awkward.  I hate awkward. Sometimes.

It's weird to see how my brain works. I hope this isn't too abnormal.